I've been keeping my personal journal going, but haven't posted here in a while because I've had so many conflicting and unrelated thoughts all at once. It felt like I was being pulled in every direction and wasn't sure if I was in a place to share. I'm starting to realize that all along, I've been fighting to find the middle. Through good, bad, up and down, somehow life is creating balance. 

For a long time, balance for me was about pulling myself back from sadness. But now I see that it's so much more than that. 

Sometimes balance is about practicing self love while keeping my ego in its place. 

Sometimes it's about noticing jealousy and comparison when it creeps into my subconscious. 

Sometimes it's about being confident enough in myself to realize that I'm not required to be perfect all the time. 

Sometimes it's about acknowledging when I'm uncomfortable and just riding the wave, or choosing to change the situation. Either way is fine. 

Sometimes, for me, balance is not defining myself by what others think of me but still always being my best self. 

Balance is realizing that no one is perfect, but knowing that I'm still entitled to set expectations and distance myself from people who don't meet them. 

Balance is being caring and empathetic, but not taking on other people's problems. 

Balance is enjoying my social life, but keeping my priorities straight. 

Sometimes (all the time) balance is simply about lowering my voice, the constant struggle. 

And now that Donald Trump has been elected President, in real life, balance is about staying focused and faithful in the face of adversity.

For me, balance isn't necessarily about being happy vs. sad. It's about finding peace and quiet. It's about good nights of sleep. It's about learning how to be calm. 

-Ness