12 years ago, I took a leap of faith and started my Locs. This was one of the first big decisions that I can remember where I really felt I was being true to my vision for myself. I had to face my fears and stand strong on my decision even with the criticism from friends and family. They couldn’t see MY vision for myself. And while that was tough sometimes, it did show me that nobody else can make decisions for me. I had the power to create the life I wanted.
I was 20 years old when I started my locs and I’m turning 32 next month. Just like my hair, I have grown so much. About a year ago, I started to think about combing my locs out but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t see myself any other way. And when I started talking to family and friends about it, most people’s reactions showed me that they felt the same way. My locs were a part of me.
It took me a while to realize that it was fear that was stopping me. The same fear that has limited me in other areas of my life. The fear that makes you forget that this world has ENDLESS possibilities. And many times we’re so stuck on one or two things that we don’t see all that life has to offer.
But still, I wasn’t ready. I started saying maybe I’ll do it after I get married or after I have another kid. Maybe I would do it when I turned 35. I was procrastinating and I didn’t know what would lead me to make the change.
On Wednesday April 7th, my friend and client Aleya came in for services. While we were catching up, we talked about my hair and I remember telling her I was kind of over it but not ready for a change just yet. That night, I had a dream about the process of taking my locs out and it ended with Venita being half way through blow drying my hair. When I woke up the next morning, I knew it was time.
I started combing my locs out that day. I didn’t watch any tutorials or tell anybody other than my sister. Not even Steven and he was in the next room. I just started combing. I had no idea what the outcome would be, but that day, I opened my mind to new possibilities for myself. #OperationLocDown (as Venita calls it) was underway. I wondered for a moment, should I wait and do a photo shoot with my locs for memory’s sake. But I decided against it. I was ready to move forward.
For the next 5 weeks, I spent every free moment I had working on my hair. I had 76 locs to comb out. At first it was taking me almost 2 hours per loc, but eventually I was able to get it down to about 45 minutes each. After a week and a half, I was having severe carpal tunnel symptoms. I was afraid that I wouldn’t even be able to continue, especially after watching my sister’s journey through carpal tunnel with time off work and surgery. I was nervous, but my mom pushed me the same way she always has, to finish what I started.
In order to keep going, I knew I would need help. But the process was so tedious and messy that I didn’t even want to ask. I started icing my hand in between sessions and taking advil when I needed it. I even had to sleep in wrist braces. And then I had to ask for Steven’s help. I never really understood when girls would say their boyfriend helped them take out their weave or braids, until now lol. It’s definitely a new level of bonding.
I still needed more help. I was nervous to ask any of my friends because most of them keep their nails done and I knew it would mess them up. And I was also only available at odd times because of school and work. But two of my best friends, Candace and Lauren, were adamant about helping me and I could not be more grateful. Candace even brought gloves so she could help without sacrificing her nails. They came over on a couple Sundays and one Monday to help me make this happen.
I had a strict deadline because of an upcoming girls trip and I refused to look crazy. Venita and I agreed that I should get braids for the trip. It removed some of the pressure of wondering what the outcome of my hair would be and thinking about how I would manage it on vacation. So I scheduled two hair appointments. The first one was to get a blow out and trim with Venita. And the second one was to get braids the following day.
I was surprised that I didn’t really get emotional throughout the process of combing them out. But suddenly it hit me when I was on my way to the salon. A rush of emotions came over me and I cried for the next couple hours. The feeling was heavy and intense. It was uncontrollable. But at the same time it was cleansing. I started to feel the change that was coming in my life and welcome it.
Venita and I both went through a range of emotions as we undid my two strand twists and detangled my hair. We even had a small argument and sat there silently brushing for 15 minutes. We were overwhelmed. Candace and Lauren sat there to support no matter how heavy the energy got. Austin was there to lighten the mood.
Venita washed my hair and conditioned my hair and then gave me a protein treatment. I started to feel the weight lifting from my spirit and the tears stopped. I could feel myself being born into a new era.
I was also excited because I had (sadly) NEVER seen my hair in it’s true, natural state. I’ve had a relaxer since I was three years old and didn’t even grow it out fully before getting locs.
Although we were impressed with my afro, we were still managing expectations about what the end result would be. Venita wasn’t even planning to straighten it.
But then she started blow drying my hair and were SO impressed with what we saw. My hair was long AND it was healthy. And not only that, it look exactly how I saw it in my dream. This was literally a dream come true 😭.
So the rest of my time at the shop was spent celebrating, on IG Live, and calling friends and family. I was so excited! I felt light and stress free. I was grateful and happy.
I meant it when I said I needed the weight off of me. I meant that in a physical sense, but I had no idea that it would really impact me spiritually.
When I left the salon, I dropped Austin off with my brother and went out and had a blast that night! I was celebrating a friend’s birthday but also celebrating the new me! The woman that had faced her fears and seen first hand that life can be even more beautiful than you imagined when you follow your intuition and take big risks. I took my new hair out on the town.
And then the next morning, I dragged myself to my braids appointment with Dominique. I didn’t even want braids anymore after seeing my hair, but I had to stick with the plan. I knew I wanted to get a style that didn’t just look like a replacement of my locs. I wanted something that felt new and different. After 12 years with the same hair, I was ready to do something unexpected. And here’s where we landed! LOVE it.
And not only did I love my hair, but I swear my appointment was like a therapy session. I left there feeling like my whole life was figured out. And most importantly, I was reminded of my potential and my ability to keep putting plans in place to build the life I want.
I can’t wait to keep trying different styles with my hair! I know there will be some struggles as I figured out what works best for my natural hair but I’m so ready.
I thank God for bringing me to and through this transformative time in my life. Change is good.
xo,
Ness