[Entry saved from 8.27.16 to post in honor of my dad's birthday.]
For the first time today, I had to admit to someone that my dad had passed away. I ran into someone I hadn't seen in years who had no reason to know what's going on in my life. Of course one of first questions they asked me was "How's your mom and dad?"
My heart dropped.
My first instinct was to say "They're good" like I always would. And then it hit me. My dad is gone.
My mind went blank.
I was at a loss for words. An array of thoughts raced through my mind. Then they stopped and I thought...Wait, how is he doing?
For so long now I've only thought about how we're doing dealing with the loss of my dad. I hadn't stopped to think about how he's doing. I hadn't stopped to thank God that he is no longer struggling with the trials that life brings. He's no longer trying to be strong for us. He's no longer heartbroken at the loss of his mother. He doesn't have to feel what we feel.
He's probably doing much better than all of us, resting in the presence of God. The last time I saw my dad, it was in church a couple of weeks before he passed. I had no idea at the time of course that it would be the last time I saw him. But I do remember watching him a little more closely than usual. I remember telling him he looked really nice. He was wearing red bow tie, navy blue suit I believe. He came just to see me dance to "Break Every Chain". He came in late, just when we were lining up in the back. After we danced, he told me that he had an extremely emotional experience at church that day. And now I know why. As they say in the song, the chains were broken. That day, I believe my Dad got a word from God. I believe that he knew, one way or another, that the chains were broken and he would no longer be bound by his troubles.
So how's he doing, you ask? My dad is doing just fine. And according to what he told my granddad, he's only a step away.