I ran into an acquaintance the other day while I was out. Someone I've seen a thousand times, but not quite a friend. Someone you small talk with but don't know that much about. So I started off with the typical "How's it goin?"

I was expecting something like "Everything's cool, business is good." Ya know, small talk.

Instead he told me he had almost died that week. He had some unexpected and very serious health concerns that almost ended his life. He told me he had made a decision to turn his life around, let go of bad habits and addictions.

We talked about that for a while and then he suddenly stopped himself and apologized for oversharing. My response:

I would prefer an honest answer over a surface level “I’m good”.

And that got me thinking...We live in a world where people only share the good things. All wins, no losses. We could sit next to someone everyday and have no idea that they’re hurting.

We're encouraged to "be responsible for the energy we bring into a room." And for many of us that means, don't ruin the moment by talking about something sad or negative.

I've noticed in my circle, that we are ALL going through a lot. But sometimes we are afraid to fully share, only telling the "acceptable" negative things and sparing everyone of the rest. Sometimes we avoid each other when something is wrong.

We're constantly focused on crafting the story that we think other people want to hear. That's what they call suffering in silence.

I want to break the habit. Let's start with the people close to us, the people we love who love us back. When someone asks you how you're doing, give them an honest answer. "I'm okay but have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and trying to work through it" IS AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER. "I'm good, but have been having random waves of sadness." IS AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER. If you’re finally feeling some peace, say that. And don’t always wait for someone to ask. Reach out if you need someone.

Even when someone you're not close with asks how you're doing, regardless of what you say back to them, ask yourself honestly...How am I doing?

Let's break the cycle and stop trying to do life alone. Let's make it okay for others to do the same. We can’t help each other heal if we don’t know what’s going on. Are you with me?

xo

- Ness